Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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