Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
