so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Randomize
