This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
