dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize