At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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