We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
