Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize