Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
