he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
