She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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