you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
