He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
