My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
