Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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