Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize