He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
