and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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