oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
