So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
