Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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