ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
