Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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