I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
