All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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