We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
