oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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