i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
