I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
