My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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