you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
