Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize