We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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