Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
