My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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