I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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