True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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