Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
