It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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