Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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