I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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