You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
