I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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