Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
