My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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