Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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