i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
