let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
