I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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