If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
