remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
