my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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