would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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