What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
