Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
