That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's official drugs can't kill me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
