mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
