Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
