May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sacagawea was the original milf.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
