My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Quick, to the slutcave!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
