I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
we're so committed to being not committed
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