some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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