they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
