areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
