I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
