Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
