so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
