I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
