I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
