everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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