fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
