sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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