Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dick has a subreddit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
