We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
