just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
