Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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