She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
