I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
