That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
