Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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